Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
