You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
