y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I want to fling myself into the sun
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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