It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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