i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
