You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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