I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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