My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
