i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize