we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
As shirtless as possible
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
