his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
