well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize