So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The Olympian is in my bed
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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