Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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