How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
