He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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