whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
