Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
