Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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