I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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