the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
