Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
