This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
