we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
