holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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