how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
