And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
