wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Enjoy the penises
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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