I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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