You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
