First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
