Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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