So gin and wine won't be happening again
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
