; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
