My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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