the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
