But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
