If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
