Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
