david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
