he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She said her name was "party"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
then he tried to convert me to islam
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
