chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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