Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
