Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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