My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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