I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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