Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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