I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
