Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
