Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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