I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
