I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
