Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
This is my gift to your gina
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
