I got chris browned last night
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
