running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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