no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
