It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
