I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize