Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
