my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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