that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
