He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
