listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
